Jul 26

Evolution of a Polyamorous Woman

I wanted to write this not because there aren’t a ton of perspectives on polyamory out there. However, my perspective isn’t out there and I still think that I have something of value to offer. I think back to the beginning of when I looked back to wanting a polyamorous relationship bright-eyed and bushy-tailed missing the entire fucking point of it all but I will get to that later.

poly1When I started living a poly lifestyle I stumbled upon it semi-unconventionally because my boyfriend was cheating on me, and I decided it was okay. Let be back track. I didn’t decide it was okay because I had low self-esteem and I didn’t care about myself. I just didn’t care that much honestly. I was more upset that he lied to me than the cheating part. We kinda resolved that and had an open relationship. I never believed you had to love just one person. I believed that you could love more than one person. Love is not finite but limitless.

I later had a foray into swinging and liked it for a number of years. BDSM for longer than that but something was missing. And it seemed like it was poly. So there i was looking for Missing pieces to a puzzle of relationship(s) people who were into all these different things that appealed to the multiple facets of me. For 8 years, I searched. Multiple relationships, lovers, swing parties, BDSM parties, scenes, etc. later. I had a fucking aha moment. I felt like I was trying to piece together a relationship from these fragments of relationships, and that’s why things just weren’t really working.

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Don’t get me wrong. I truly have infinite love for multiple people at the same time. Have no problems doing it on any occasion. The intricacies and complexities of a polyamorous relationship come naturally to me. Maybe I just haven’t found the right people. But as I think, if you could find every thing you needed, and most of what you wanted in one person, would you keep looking? Why the fuck do you think stores like Walmart and Target do so well? One Stop Shopping! I believe that a polyamorous believer is one who believes in the possibility of multiple loves doesn’t mean he or she is a current practitioner. Just like if ur married to a man and don’t sleep with women doesn’t make u any less bisexual to me. But that’s my opinion. I can be a polyamorous woman in a monogamous relationship. Doesn’t mean I am any less satisfied.

I think that many people do well in polyamorous relationships, open relationships, swinging relationships, and various other forms of non-monogamy. However, I pose to you a philosophical question, if you could get everything you wanted, desired, needed, looking for, etc. in the person you have, would you keep looking? If so why? I understand for some it may physically impossible for such things to exist. One partner is bisexual and the other can’t be two genders at once. Makes sense. think-about-itWhat I have come to learn is no matter how you love, do it your way. Make your own rules. As long as you aren’t infringing on anyone else’s rights be who you are because at the end of the day, the only person that you have to account to is you.

Jun 10

Autumn’s Bookshelf: Reveiwing the Writer

 

fay_bookreviews3_postThere are a few things about writing that they don’t teach you. A writer can attend all of the best schools and greatest conferences and meet the best of the best authors, but they don’t teach you how to be comfortable bearing your soul naked to the world.

 

As a writer, one must take a piece of their inner most parts, expose it, and put it on display for all the world to see and purchase. That process gets easier over time, but it never goes away. Even the most successful author still wonders how the work will be received by the public.  While the masses see a cool, confident, and collected person. They don’t see the behind the scenes parts of the author’s mind. They don’t see the worry, suspense, and anxiety that exits with putting art on display.  A writer is a literary artist painting a portrait in the mind with the words of their pen.  Or nowadays the keyboard.

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I write this both as an author and as a reviewer. I understand the amount of time, effort, and confidence it takes to bear your soul.  I salute all who do.  Reviewing and being reviewed, is never easy. It takes a great deal of time and patience to both see and be seen.  Neither do either for the other.  The writer does not write for the reviews nor does the reviewer review for the writer.  Both takes the time to perfect their craft for the love of the art of writing.

 

As an author, it takes a lot to review another other. One must put aside selfish ambitions and thinking only about the work at hand.  It takes a bit of time to learn to not read a book as you would want it to be written but to read the book as it should be written.  Sometimes that is how neither the author nor you have would write it. It takes time to understand the language and passion that comes with bearing one’s soul in such a naked fashion for all to see.  The book is an extension of the author’s mind their very essence.  To understand the author is to understand his or her work. Overall, reviewing a writer is not something that I do lightly, and I hope it is not something that others carelessly do either.

 

Nov 02

EN #3: Open Relationships Vs. Cheating

In an interesting dialogue, Jaun Jose, the Kinky Sista, and Strawberri Jynx discuss various aspects of open relationships. From jealousy and cheating to trust and polyamory we talk about all types of things related to sex and relationships.600en-logo

Nov 02

RnB ThrowBax #6: Velvet Rope by Janet Jackson

A groovy review from the Kinky Sista, Strawberri, and Jaun Jose of Velvet Rope by Janet Jackson

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Nov 02

RnB Throwbax #5: #1s by Mariah Carey

A smashing review of  Mariah Carey’s album #1s

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Nov 02

RNB Reviews #10 Art Official Age by Prince

Another riveting review of Art Official Age by Prince

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Nov 02

RNB Reviews #9: Point of No Return by Keyshia Cole

This week on RnB Reviews we discus Keyshia Cole’s new album, Point of No Return.

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Oct 25

RnB Throwbax #4: Guy by Guy

Reviewing a classic, the debut album Guy by Guy

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Oct 25

RnB ThrowBax #3: Share My World by Mary J. Blige

Another great review of an RnB Classic: Share my World by Mary J. Blige

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Oct 25

RNB Reviews #8: Aquarius by Tinashe

This week on RnB Reveiws, we discuss the new album Aquarius by Tinashe.

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