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Sep 28

The Frugal Dominant: How to do BDSM on a budget

Now you have read “50 Shades of Grey”, and you read about the pretty toys, the floggers, the whips, chains, and handcuffs. Then you look at your wallet. Unless you are bankrolling in like Christian Grey, you are probably like the rest of us and need to be a bit more frugal and cost conscious with your spending. There is hope for you frugal Dominants out there. The BDSM on a budget series is here to help. From light bondage to impact play to sensual erotic loving. Many things that you can think or hope for are covered in this series. This week covers, starting in kink.

 

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Some of the most basic items that you can find for a BDSM toy bag include many things you can find at your local dollar store. Some of the things I recommend are clothes pins, clothes line and/or rope (usually in the automotive department), bag of rice, scarves (usually found in the beauty supply store as well for $2 or less), rubber bands, bag clips, hair brushes, plastic rods (from mini blinds or shower rods), mixing spoons/spatulas (both wooden and plastic), candles (paraffin is best for beginners but regular candles can do in a pinch), skewers, toothpicks, hangers (both plastic and wire), paper, and pencils.


Now I am sure you are looking at this list like what amid I going to do with a skewer and rice? Make kabobs? Well there are many things that each item has different usages for. Lets start from the beginning.


  • Clothespins
    : good for clamps, string them together with clothes line and you have a very effective zipper that can be delightfully painful they also make good nipple, labia, and flesh clamps.
  • Clothes line and/or rope: used for basic and/or decorative bondage, for learning ties as well
  • Bag of rice: got a discipline problem? Have your submissive/bottom kneel in rice, this tends to be a quick attitude adjustment
  • Scarves: great for bondage on the fly
  • Rubber bands: Good for securing things together and also great when used for other types of clamps and tension
  • Bag clips: like clothes pins also great for zippers, and clamping fleshy parts of the body
  • Hair brushes: when was the last time you were spanked with a hair brush?
  • Plastic rods: can make okay spreader bars when reinforced, also used for canes
  • Mixing spoons/spatulas: similar to hair brushes, good for impact play
  • Candles: BE CAREFUL this can burn someone but also it can create a delightful sensation.
  • Skewers: when used with the rubber bands 4 skewers and 2 rubber bands can create great tension when secured together with and used around nipples, labia, clitorises, etc.
  • Toothpicks: similar to skewers, be careful about nerve damage
  • Hangers: again good for impact play
  • Paper and pencils: never underestimate the power of a well placed written assignment for punishment.

What BDSM is in its most basic definition is an inequity in power exchanged between two individuals who consentually choose to engage in such activities. What that looks like for anyone in a dynamic (a BDSM relationship) is largely variable. It may involve different types of play (kinky or alternative acts) for the creation of scenes (a period of time with which power is exchanged between two people) or long term dynamics. It IS an EXCHANGE between two people. Both people are receiving something both people are giving up something. It is not just all give on one side and take on the other.

Most people believe that in order to “do BDSM correctly” that they need to focus on having the latest and greatest implements and instrumentation. BDSM is more about creativity and freedom from doing and being the expected. Never be afraid to let your imagination run wild. Hallmark sign of a serious player: they can find a way to use anything in a room in a kinky way.

For More information feel free to email admin@sensualitybyautumn.com. Someone will be glad to assist you.

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