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Apr 10

No homo: Male Homophobia

2013-06-04-11-01-11

We have all heard it. That phrase that inherently means “I said something that may sound like I am gay or bisexual, but don’t be confused; I’m not.” Most commonly said by men of the African American race, it has become a common place phrase in the American dialect. But really, has it not become just another backwards dig at the homosexual population.

Just by my informal survey, as 80% of the males, especially those who are black, if a man who engages in certain acts (i.e. strap ons, toys, etc) is gay and most will say yes. Even if those acts are engaged solely with a woman. Of course a man who engages with a man and a woman is guaranteed to be gay because male bisexuality just can’t exist in the universe (I say this in the most facetious manner possible).

Let’s pause for a moment. Think back to the olden days when Africans were brought to America as slaves. They were strong prideful people. They often defied their masters and tried to escape. To break the slaves what did the masters do? They tore the families apart. They sexually violated their women and sodomized them men into thinking they were less than. That is what they did to break the slave. They forced them to learn a religion that was not native to them. All of this together compounded the mentality that any man who engaged in homosexual relations was not a man. Combine this with a religion that is constantly teaching homosexuality is a sin and wrong and you have a recipe for male homophobia.

Why do I speak to males specifically instead of female homophobia? Because over the past 50 years, really the last 20-30 years, female bisexuality and homosexuality has become more accepted than male homosexuality and bisexuality. Men who are homosexual or bisexual are viewed as less than in the eyes of other males this fear creates a deep seeded problem known as the DL phenomenon.

Look at “Brokeback Mountain” in this movie you have two BISEXUAL males who deeply love their wives but at the same time love one another. They however know that they are not permitted to be in the way that they want to be with one another so they only share the times when they are up on the mountain and when they can steal away once a year. This kind of illicit affair is the basis of the “down low” phenomenon. Men who are bisexual or even homosexual live in fear of being ousted and having to lose everything they have because of their sexual preferences. Is this right? Many have been attacked both verbally and physically even to the point of death all for sexual preferences.

As a minority when does one stop and think, isn’t this the same freedom that our elders fought for? Did he not die for us to be judged on the content of our character instead of who we sleep with? Freedom is freedom. Last time I checked I was afforded the right to choose who I wanted to make a life with and that goes the same for my counter sex. Men have the same rights as women to make the same life choices and be free to do what they choose. Your sexual preferences have nothing to do with how masculine or feminine you are. I am no less of a woman or any more of a man because I sleep with women. And the converse goes the same for any man in my position.

No homo? Yay, that’s great for you, but stop making it such a bad thing that those who are feel ashamed to be who they are.

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